If you haven’t heard part one and part two yet, you might want to go check them out.
You can also go check out all the audio files here.
Okay, last part of a trilogy, let’s do this!
Dan Sinker read about Mr. Whoppit, a teddy bear owned by the land and water speed record holder of the 1950s, someone who would be invariably cool if it were not for, you know, the stuffed animal. I was more interested in Dan’s beard. And beards in general.
I wish I could grow a beard.
LEAST I’M STILL COOL.
Yeah. Um… Okay. Robbie and Shanny proceed to pump their Civil War themed Encyclo Show, which you can’t go to, because it has already happened. Unless you can travel back in time. Which is sweet.
Again, I was more interested in the beard than the story, but the story was probably quite good. With his subject, Grizzly Man, Dave told the audience of this classic and tragic story from the bear’s point of view via his bear journals. Just what you wanted, I know.
Dave also created SilverTongue. So, you know, shake his hand or kick him in the gonads depending on how you feel about that.
After Dave’s wonderful piece Robbie takes up the role typically reserved for the fact checker and brings everyone down.
Patience, who claims she isn’t funny, proceeded to take the stage and impress (and intimidate, but in a good way) everyone with her piece on Funshine bear. You know, from the Care Bears.
Robbie threatens the crowd with another song before finally introducing K Bradford.
And Bradford, God bless her, touches the crowd with a human piece about coming out of the closet… for your love for bears… gummi bears. Honestly, I don’t know why it’s taken this long for the world to see g-bear fanatics as they are: normal human beings.
Then intern Patrick humped a bear named Ian Dick Jones for the whole crowd to see. I know this won’t make sense, but he did it for the good of everyone involved.
Outlaw Grizzly. I’ll leave this bit at that.
And then I said something! Someone in the crowd at one point, as I came up, yelled, “take it off!” This is because of how hot I am. So hot people want to see me in the nude. Also, I’m good to people’s crotches.
After my wonderful announcement the excitement needed to be brought down a couple million notches. Presenting, fact checker Ian for his last fun sucking assessment of the truth.
Finally, the end. Sorry Intern Patrick!
Peace out,
~Ma$e
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